Stupid Cupid
by Gabriel Gatsby
Summary: Sirius has been hit with a love potion, but who is the culprit, and how will his friends break the spell? (Warning: mild course language)


James shook Sirius by his shoulders, but his eyes were glazed over and he only smiled at him dopily.

"What's wrong with him?" he asked, frustrated at his friend's lack of response. "He was fine just a moment ago, and now this! I swear I'm going to kill whoever's done this to him. I bet it was that snivelling git, Snape," he muttered, though he privately admitted this wasn't Snape's style at all. Still, he would be sure to hex his living daylights out all the same.

"Let me take a look," Remus suggested, resting his hand lightly on James' shoulder. Despite his concern, James allowed himself to be moved aside as Remus crouched down before Sirius and peered into his eyes.

"Hey, Sirius," he said, his strong hands supporting his weight as the taller man threatened to tip forward out of his seat. Releasing one shoulder, Remus waved his hand slowly before the other man's eyes, watching his irises carefully. Next he pulled out his wand, and cast a few quick diagnostic charms. Surveying the results, he frowned a little in consternation.

"I think I know who did this," he said finally, "and it wasn't Snape."

"Well! Who was it? Tell me," James urged impatiently. Remus gave him a serious look,

"What, so you can run off to exact your rightful revenge? Don't forget I know you, James Potter - but that won't help Sirius right now."

"I know, I know," James said irritably, used to Moony's far-too-sensible reasoning. "But I also know you – and that you want revenge just as much as I do."

Remus sighed, and looked back up into Sirius' smoky eyes. The shadows that obscured his irises were candy pink, giving him a creepy love-sick look.

"He calls himself Cupid," he finally admitted. James raised a quizzical brow, and Remus went on to explain: "You remember when all this superhero nonsense kicked off, as people figured that hey, if Voldemort can be a villain, can't they be a hero?" James only nodded for him to go on. It had been a phase somehow inspired by Muggle comics, he'd heard; ridiculous, but believable. After all, statistically speaking there had to be _some_ crazies, and unfortunately Mother Nature hadn't deemed sanity a requirement when allotting magical ability.

"Well, this one guy decided love was the key, only he took it a bit too _literally_."

"Er…" James said, a little lost for words.

"Really: he's the real deal. Word has it he transfigures himself into a cherub, and invented his own magical bow and arrow. The arrows are laced with a previously unrecorded love potion."

"It _was_ Snape! I knew it!" James declared.

"Seriously, Prongs? Snape - a cherub?" James bit his lip. Okay, so he didn't want to admit it, but perhaps the snake wasn't the guilty party here.

"But if it's not him, who is it? It has to be a student to be able to make it into Hogwarts." Remus could see the cogs slowly grinding into action in James' mind.

"I don't know, but first thing's first: we need to find a way to snap Sirius out of this. I don't know about a cure, but I heard there's a way to end the spell."

"What is it?" James asked, praying for a quick solution.

"True love's kiss, of course," Remus replied, and James groaned.

* * *

In the Gryffindor common room, James read out the last on a long list of names.

"Lucinda Talkalot…?" he said, adding, "Merlin forbid, that troll," under his breath as he glanced up at Sirius. No reaction.

"And Emma Vanity," he finished, staring at his love-drunk friend, hopeful of a reaction. Sirius barely blinked, instead slumping against Remus' shoulder, staring up at him dreamily.

"That's it! That's the lot." He flopped back on the bed, dejectedly. "How can it be no one?"

While James was complaining, Remus was chewing the side of his mouth and peering thoughtfully down at Sirius.

"James…" he said hesitantly, and James looked over.

"What?"

"Just close your eyes a moment, I want to test a theory."

James gave him a suspicious look, but having no reason to distrust Moony (Sirius was the prankster, not him) he leaned back on the bed and shut his eyes.

"Well?" he enquired after a few moments of silence, ever the impatient one. He was about to sit up and demand to know what Remus was planning, when he heard a most welcome voice,

"Remus, what the fuck was that?"

James' eyes flew open as he sat bolt upright. Staring down at his two friends, he glanced rapidly from one to the other. Taking in their twin expressions of embarrassment, it didn't take him long to guess what had happened. Remus' cheeks glowed red.

"Well," he said with a grin, "that _is _a revelation."

* * *

_Written for: the 'War of Angels Competition'. Prompts: drabble between 500 and 800 words, any pairing, set in the first Wizarding War, and 'cupid'._

_Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter._

_CC cover image (entitled 'Psyche &amp; Cupid') courtesy of Riccardo Cuppini on Flickr._

* * *

**A/N: **This wasn't the first fic I wrote for this comp as my initial idea came out way too long! Hope you enjoyed it, thanks for reading, please do let me know what you thought! GG x


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